Tuesday, November 26, 2002
I give up on trying to make people happy!! It never seems to work anyway. And it certainly doesn't make me feel good! And maybe thats just me being greedy, but every time I help someone, it just ends up bitting me in my ass. I guess i'm finally going to give up on my friends! I just don't understand them anymore. Like today, Cynthia decided to start a "play fight" w/words. So I thought ok, fine, I'll have a little mock argument it could be fun?, but then all of a sudden she started saying things and it seemed like she was really getting pissed at me? We have done this before but this time it really seemed like she was serious, and so I decided to quit but she wouldn't let up!!! So I finally told her "You started this your gonna finish it!" (I was partly joking and partly not) Which maybe I shouldn't have said, but I didn't feel good and I was getting tired of the supposed "game" so the bell wrang and she just walked out of the class, she didn't say anything she just walked ahead of me, basically ignoring me. But the even weirder thing was when Ruben started to talk to her, she would talk to him, but acted like I wasn't there. (After school we usually wait at the door for Ruben and then all 3 of us walk out to the cars) Then she started the "game" again, trying to act like nothing happend. And it just confuses me so much. They have both been acting very weird. Like on Saturday they went the movies together, but didn't want to hurt my feelings so they decided not to tell me. Ruben even lied to my face about it! I don't even care that I wasn't invited, it's just the fact that they lied to me!! And yet we are supposed to be "Bestfriends"? Maybe my version of a bestfriend is different from theirs but I don't really think "bestfriends" should be lying to each other. No matter how good a reason they may have for not telling!? They keep complaining to me and saying i'm a geek because I read so much, and that I do my homework and stuff. But when I get upset or "Pissed" as they call it, they say "We're only Joking" I can't tell when they are lying to me or telling me the truth, and I know for a fact that is NOT a good thing. I am so confused I have no idea what I'm gonna do!!!! How can this be happening! This is supposed to be the best year of my life and instead it is turning out to be the worst!!!!
Marie @ 8:30 PM