Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Well yesterday before I left for the concert mom told me that we are moving. We are gonna be out of here by August 1st. I'm not very happy about this. I mean in away I am, more freedom, our own place. But the draw back is we are only going to have 1 phone line. So I know i'm not going to have internet access like I can here.(mom is ALWAYS on the phone) But her and Tony are happy we are moving. I wish I was. Sharing a room w/Tony?! I haven't lived in an apartment since I was 4 years old! This is SO going to take alot of getting used to. So this has really put a damper on things and made my depression worse. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to share a room w/Tony. And I REALLY want the time to fly by so we can go to Toronto, but thats bittersweet for me because RIGHT after we get back i'm going to be going to an ALL NEW school. Meaning I don't know anybody or anything about the school. And just thinking about that makes me almost have a panic attack. I don't do well around strangers. I had a hard enough time at the old high school, and I was atleast familiar with the school and knew my way around. I have always had a fear of being alone/lonely, and now my fear is coming true. Everyone keeps telling me that i'm strong and I can get threw it, but I just don't think I can.
Marie @ 7:36 PM