Thursday, January 15, 2004
Very depressing post coming up but I can't help it, this has been on my mind for so long lately.......
I have really been missing my grandma alot lately. I miss all the wonderful stories she used to tell me, and the pictures she used to show me. My favourite story I used to like hearing her tell was about how when she was younger they used to eat alot of chicken because her brother would go out and break a chickens neck, and because they didn't waste anything back then, they would have to eat it. I don't know how many times she told me that story but everytime I'd ask she wouldn't hesatate to tell me! Or how when she was rolling my hair in rollers, she used to tell me about my Aunt Anna and how she used to have to roll her hair in rags, and telling me how beautiful my aunt was and how I'd grow up to look just like her. My other favourite thing to do was, she had this old hat or shoe box, can't remember exactly what, but it was gray/blue and it had a handle and zipped up. I used to sit on the floor every Saturday night that I was over there and i'd look threw the pix and she would tell me who everybody was and stories behind the pictures.
I think i'm missing her the most right now because of the advice she used to give. I feel very lost right now, I have no idea what i'm going to do, and this is a time I REALLY could use her advice. When she died, I just closed up, and now I keep my problems to myself. I really prefer it. I don't like getting emotional infront of anyone else. I hear enough about eveyone else's problems, I don't want to put someone else threw that. Thats one of the reasons I keep a journal and have a blog. So that I can have a place to vent. My mom knows I hold everything in and she just can't stand it. It's not to make her feel bad, it's just i'm not comfortable "sharing." It's much easier for me to write my feelings down in writting and then let people comment and say what they want rather than me having to say it to their faces.
Marie @ 12:17 AM